Failure Ninjas Training School!
by The Masked Idiot
Summary: All ninjas have problems, some more then others. What Happens when each village/organization sends their worst ninjas to the same school? T for course language. No lemons or pairings, probably never will be. Not exactly drabble, but no clear story line either.
1. Chapter 1

**FTAS Chapter One: The meeting**

"Do you know why all of you are here?"

No response.

"You are all here because the village or organization you are in has deemed you as a failure. Whether it is from being an overly energetic person, a killer, or just plain annoying, all of you are here for similar reasons." He paused.

"All of you WELCOME TO THE FNT (1) SCHOOL. I, IBIKI, WILL BE YOUR TEACHER AND PRINCIBLE."

After Ibiki left, Anko stepped in.

"OKAY ALL YA BRATS. GO FIND OUT ABOUT EACH OTHER. CLASS DISMISSED!", she yelled.

'…'

"YOSH!", yelled a certain loud blonde.

"IM UZUMAKI NARUTO, DATTEBAYO!"

'…'

"Well shut the fuck up, you loudmouthed fuckin ass", yelled Hidan from the back.

"THAT IS NOT VERY YOUTHFULL OF YOU! I, AM THE BEAUTIFUL GREEN BEAST OF KONOHA, ROCK L-"

"OH FOR GOOD NESS SAKE, SHUT UP, LEE", called out a pissed Neji.

"Hey, where'd Anko go?"

"OOOO MY BEAUTIFUL SAKURA SAN IS HERE TOO? LET US BE YOUTHFUL TOGETHER!", Lee shouted, blowing kisses at her.

"HELL NO!", yelled Sakura, dodging the hearts floating towards her.

"Shut up or I'll kill you all", said Garra menacingly, the sand from his gourd trickling out slowly.

"Like Hell you can, un. I'll just blow you up first, un!", said Deidara, nodding his head and reaching into his pockets for clay.

"OH MY GOD IT'S THE AKATSUKI", yelled Karin. "HIDE ME!"

She hid behind Sasuke, who was staring off into space, trying to ignore what was happening.

"HEY IM A MEMBER OF THE FUCKING AKATSUKI TOO BITCH. NOTICE ME EARLIER YOU DUMB FUCKED RETARD."

"Shut up Hidan or I'll kill you. Why would leader waste a $10.00 admission fee on this crap anyways", mumbled Kakuzu.

"YOU CAN'T FUCKING KILL ME YOU STUPID ASSHOLE. IM FUCKING IMMORATAL. I'LL KILL YOU AS A SACRIFICE TO JASHIN."

Kakuzu and Hidan proceeded to beating each other up in the corner of the room, while everyone edged away from the bloody, cussing fight.

Naruto stared at the other corner, at the person Karin was trying to now molest. Tears began to form in his blue eyes.

"SASUKE! YOU CAME BACK! YOU ARE NEVER GONNA LEAVE AGAIN. IF YOU LEAVE AGAIN, I SWEAR I WILL DRAG YOU BACK, BUT I WON'T LET YOU EVER LEAVE AGAIN! I SWEAR ON IT CUZ THAT'S MY NINJA WAY!"

"Hn", replied Sasuke, trying to shake Karin off.

"TOBI! HELP ME KILL THE SHUKAKU, UN!"

"BUT TOBI'S A GOOD BOY! TOBI CAN'T KILL PEOPLE!" tears fell out of the hole in his orange mask.

"SABAKYU SOSOU".

"ARG WHAT THE HELL, YOU GREEN MAN EATING PLANT? STOP TRYING TO EAT MY-"

"Penis?", Sai said smiling.

"NO I MEANT HEAD YOU DIRTY IDIOT"

Meanwhile, Choji was eating a bag of chips in the center of the room and Shikamaru was napping next to him, thinking, 'Mendokusei' (2)

**MY THOUGHTS SECTION**

**(1) Failure Ninjas Training School**

**(2) Troublesome **

Yea, so this is the first Chapter of Failure Ninjas Training School. Hopefully by the time I; done, it won't turn out to be some piece of trash found at the bottom of all my files XD. And if there are any spelling or grammer mistakes, sorry about that.


	2. Chapter 2: The real intro prologue

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO OR ITS CHARACTERS.**

**And I am sooo sorry for forgetting to put the disclaimer in the previous chapter T~T so sorry about that. Might have some OOCness**

"WHAT IS GONG ON HERE?", a furious Ibiki practically screeched, storming into the classroom and dragging a wailing Anko.

The room didn't even silence the least bit. Now, seeing as Ibiki had seen Iruka in the past teaching students, he had a fair amount of knowledge on silencing the students. Except the students here were twice the academy students ages. Closing his eyes, he decided that there was only one way to solve this problem, given that he couldn't really get their attention and Anko was busy glaring at him. The only way was to bring _him_ in. And fire Anko. No teacher should EVER leave a class of what are deemed the worst ninjas, alone.

Ibiki left the class room and yelled something to someone outside. Suddenly, a loud shout of, "YOSH! I WOULD BE MOST HONOURED TO TAKE OVER ANKO'S CLASS!"

Everyone in the classroom froze, almost everyone recognizing that voice.

"Who's the new loud mouth?", muttered Karin, now hugging Sasuke.

Everyone then noticeably shuddered except for one green jumpsuit clad ninja. A flash of green suddenly whooshed through the doorway, landing right on top of the teachers desk, doing a nice guy pose, his teeth blinding everyone. Looking out through the door frame, Ibiki left, looking smug. Oh the horror those kids are going to have.

"LEE! MY PRECIOUS AND MOST ADORABLE STUDENT!"

"GAI SENSEI!"

"LEE!"

"GAI SENSEI!"

The two then ran to each other and started crying tears of joy and hugged each other, still screaming LEE and GAI SENSEI loudly. The class all let out groans, though some stifled.

"Ne, Neji, how can you stand being around those two?", whispered Sakura.

Shrugging, Neji replied, "You get used to it."

Finally parting from Lee, Gai looked at everyone else in the room with a glaring smile. Everyone either looked away or shuddered.

"YOSH! EVERYONE MUST WRITE A YOUTHFUL REPORT ON WHY THEY ARE HERE! FINISH THIS BY LUNCH AND YOU WILL GET TO TRAIN WITH LEE AND I!"

Gai then lay down on the floor and did sit-ups, while everyone just looked at the paper and pencil that randomly appeared in front of them. 30 minutes later, everyone was done and handed in their papers. After Gai got up and shuffled the papers, he threw a different piece of paper at each person in the room.

"READ MY YOUTHFUL STUDENTS READ!"

**Um yeah… next time, we will be going over their papers :D**


	3. Chapter 3: Paper intros arc part 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto**

**Fyi, this is obviously in a different timeline, and im doing it so that the character is portrayed at their most annoying point, no offence to characters. Then again this is a parody xD **

Name: Gaara

Organization/village: Sand

Why were you sent here: I don't know.

What did you do: Stop with the annoying questions or I'll kill you.

Do you know why you are here: You're going to die now

Do you think you will enjoy yourself here: Sabakyu sosou.

Neji, who was reading looked up from the paper with a confused look, when suddenly Sakura who was sitting beside Neji poked him weakly while everyone else stared, some dumbfounded, others interested to see what would happen next.

"N-neji?", Sakura stuttered out.

"What."

"Rest in peace man, rest in peace", Naruto said solemnly.

Neji processed this information before he turned on his byakugan and did a kaiten just in time to block the barrage of sand that tried to wrap him up.

"hmph. It was a mistake to fight me, Sabakyu no Garra. Fate has already decided that you can not even hope to beat me, my defense is just as absolute as yours. Prepare yourself"

Without responding, Garra, with a crazed look in his eye, followed after Neji who had just jumped out of the window. Sounds of fighting could be heard outside, followed by crashing sounds.

"…well fuck", Hidan said, looking out the window.

'…'

"Ehem. NEXT, SASUKE! READ YOUR SHEET FILLED WITH YOUTHFUL WORDS AND ENLIGHTEN US!"

Closing his eyes for a brief moment, he sighed then opened them and began to read in a monotone voice.

Name: Deidara

Organization/village: Akatsuki

Why were you sent here: Because leader-sama said my art is to annoying. How can my art be annoying? My art is wonderful! My art is spectacular! My art is a BANG! Leader-sama obviously doesn't understand the meaning of TRUE art.

What did you do: I just wanted to eat something, but all we had was a cow, so I cooked it with my extremely useful art.

Do you know why you are here: Because leader-sama sent me here?

Do you think you will enjoy yourself here: No, unless they let us explode stuff.

When Sasuke finished reading it, he felt quite idiotic indeed. What he just read seemed like something written by some immature person. What a coincidence. At that moment, that exact immature person stood up and glared at the Uchiha.

"READ IT PROPERLY, UN! ART SHOULD BE EXPLAINED WITH A BANG! YOUR ART ISN'T EVEN CLOSE TO MY ART! DON'T LOOK DOWN ON IT, YEAH! ART IS ONLY THERE FOR A FLEETING MOMENT!"

Deidara would have kept on ranting if Sasuke didn't Tsukiyomi him at that moment in annoyance. Gai frowned, upset that one of his students just knocked out his other student, but moved on anyways, pointing at the guy with stitches everywhere. What was his name again? Zabuza? Kakuza? Kakubu? Oh well.

"KAKUZA, READ!", cried Gai, doing a nice guy pose, his teeth once again blinding everyone in the room.

"It's Kakuzu", Kakuzu muttered before beginning to read his sheet.

Name: Nara

Organization/village: Leaf

Why were you sent here: Troublesome

What did you do: Troublesome

Do you know why you are here: Troublesome

Do you think you will enjoy yourself here: Troublesome

"Hey Shikamaru, why'd you write your last name only", asked Naruto questioningly.

"It's shorter and less troublesome", murmured Shikamaru, half dozing off.

"Called it", said Choji, his mouth full of chips.

Pleased that nothing bad happened upon reading this paper, Gai pointed at Sai and said,

"YOSH! SAI, YOUR UP NEXT!", while Lee hung his head down upset at failing to be picked, but then perked up when he heard whose paper was being read.

Name: THE BEAUTIFUL GREEN BEAST OF KONOHA, ROCK LEE!

Organization/village: LEAF!

Why were you sent here: TO GET TRAINING!

What did you do: TRAINING!

Do you know why you are here: TO TRAIN TOGETHER WITH GAI SENSEI AND THE FLAMES OF YOUTH!

Do you think you will enjoy yourself here: YOSH!

Sai finished reading, not sure what he should do now. Should he smile? Or frown at the extremely strange things that were written? Or…

"But I hear your flames of youth are quite small, Lee", said Sai smiling.

"Well… YOSH! THEN I SHALL TRAIN HARDER!", yelled Lee passionately, fires starting in his eyes.

"WOAH, FUZZY EYEBROWS, CALM DOWN", panicked Naruto, scooting away from Lee and the flames of youth.

11 pieces of paper still needed to be read, and Gai would make sure they were done by the end of the day. Would Ibiki mind? …Naw.

"MY WONDERFUL YOUTH FILLED STUDENTS! WE WILL BE CONTINUING AFTER YOU ALL EAT YOUR ENERGIZING LUNCHES THAT YOU SHOULD HAVE BROUGHT WITH YOU! DISMISSED!"


	4. Chapter 4 Lunch arc part 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto **

**I know I'm jumping a lot between the ideas, but I just thought it'd be nice to make something exciting happen during lunch. But the paper intro arc won' t be abandoned, it'll come back soon after this arc. **

"_Blah" thinking _

"**Blah" black zetsu**

After Gai left the classroom hollering something about lunch and youth and finishing things, everyone was silent. Even Lee was silent for some odd reason, seeing as he had just seen his teacher. Finally, Naruto spoke up and asked loudly,

"ne, does anyone have any ramen they don't want?"

'…'

No one had remembered to bring their food except for Choji and his chips, which he was not going to share. Suddenly, Lee came up with a brilliant idea. Gai sensei would be so proud of him!

"YOSH! HOW ABOUT WE ALL GO ON A YOUTHFUL HUNT FOR FOOD!"

"You know, that not an all bad idea, excluding the youthful part", muttered Kakuzu.

"Oh! How about this then!", exclaimed Sakura excitedly. "We can get split into groups and find food, this way everyone gets food! Team with the least food gets nothing though. Oh, and stealing is allowed", she added after glaring at Karin for a moment.

"But Sakura chan, we only have an hour", whined Naruto

"Baka! An hour is plenty! Let's make groups now!" _Guess Blondie, Neji, and Garra won't be joining,_ thought Sakura. "No objections to this? Okay! Sai, write their names then pick."

He proceeded to do so. The first 3 Sai picked out was Garra, Sasuke, and Sai. Sakura's head dropped and a cloud appeared over her head while she sighed sadly. Karin just glared at Sai as if it was his fault. Then came Zetsu, Sakura, and Hidan. _Aw fuck, I'm with a fan girl and a freaking cannibal_, thought Hidan, disgust showing on his face. Kakuzu, Karin, Choji. Finally, Tobi, Naruto, Lee.

"Two things; one, did you rig it Sai?" Sai just smiled back pleasantly, annoying Sakura. "Two", she practically growled, "what about Shikamaru?"

"Well, since he's apparently smarter then everyone, I thought he should be by himself in this", said Sai.

"SO YOU DID FUCKING RIG THE DAMN TEAMS!", Yelled an enraged Hidan, which Sai responded with a smile once again.

"Mendokusei… Now I have to do all the work myself…", yawned Shikamaru.

"I don't need to participate in this **stupid game**. I'll just go grab a quick lunch **off someone tasty**_. _I'll just go eat a cherry or something **which is convenient seeing how I'm paired up with one**",finished Zetsu's black half.

Sakura shrieked and took this chance to jump over and cling onto Sasuke.

"Help!", she squealed, hugging Sasuke's arm tightly while Karin glared at her from the other arm she was holding.

"Get off me."

"H-hai Sasuke kun!", Karin and Sakura said quickly, hearing the cold edge to his voice.

"OI! That wasn't really nice, Sasuke teme", said Naruto holding out an arm to Sakura, he said, "Here Sakura chaaan. You can hold my arm!"

"NO!" *bonk*

"WHAT WAS THAT FOR? THAT HUUURT", complained Naruto, anime styled tears coming out of his eyes.

While the two were Arguing, everyone else had already left to go look for food, not even giving a second glance to Naruto and Sakura.

"Hey, are you sure we should have left her there? I mean, **she **_**is**_** my lunch and all" **

"Stop bitching and help me find some jashin damn food will ya?"

_At another place…_

"MY NAME IS ROCK LEE? WHAT IS YOURS?"

"Tobi!", said Tobi happily.

"YOSH! LET US GO AND FIND FOOD! IF I DON'T FIND THE MOST, I WILL DO 100 LAPS AROUND KONOHA ON MY HANDS!"

"Let's go!", cheered Tobi, both having completely forgotten about their third team mate.

_At yet another place…_

"That was a nice match there, Garra."

"…yes"

They silently watched the shinobi jump out the window in search of food, kicking Deidara out along the way. Their stomachs growled.

"…well, do you want some onigiri?"

"Did you make it?"

"No, Hinata sama did."

Pausing for a moment, the sand from Garra's gourd reached out and took the food, while Neji watched the fleeing shinobi in faint amusement, Deidara still unconscious.

**Chapter 4 done! Like I said before, just reading papers isn't that fun, so why not make their lunch more exciting? I've got the rest of this arc planned out already, but any ideas for the paper introductions arc? I've got ideas for it, but they're probably bad xD.**


	5. Chapter 5: Lunch arc part 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto**

**Here's chapter 5, enjoy!**

"_blah" thinking_

"So, you're the Sasuke Naruto kun has been talking about?"

"Hn"

"So why are you here?"

"…"

"That's probably the reason. You like to zone out often, don't you?", asked Sai.

Sasuke ignored him and descended from the tree branch he was previously on. Dropping to the ground, he saw a deer and killed it.

"You sure like killing things. Maybe it's an obsession?", inquired Sai.

_Maybe it is. And if that's the case, your next after Itachi. _Slinging the deer over his shoulder, Sasuke began to make his way back to the school.

"Or maybe you were sent here because you were too weak", said Sai, smiling.

"Maybe you were sent here because you were weak".

"Really? I was sent here for a reason that I won't state, but seeing how your comebacks utterly fail, I'll assume your strengths aren't very good either."

Dropping the deer, Sasuke turned around and took out his kusanagi, seething.

MEANWHILE…

"WHY ARE YOU ALL SO LAZY?", screeched Karin.

Kakuzu who was reading from a black bingo book muttered something incomprehensible that sounded like counting ignored her while Choji stated that if she wanted food, she should go find food.

"Well then why don't you just give me some of your chips, fatty"

"What did you call me just now."

She sneered. "I called you a fatty, fatty"

"THAT'S IT! MEAT TANK JUTSU", yelled an enraged Choji, immediately expanding.

"Eeeeiiiiiii!" Karin started to run away from the giant rolling Choji, screaming for Sasuke to help her.

BACK WITH SAI AND SASUKE…

Sasuke sneezed.

"Oh so you can sneeze? I thought the great Uchiha's don't sneeze", said Sai, hovering on his ink bird dodging Sasuke's shuriken. Even more infuriated, Sasuke tried to Gokakyu no jutsu Sai. Lucky for Sai, it missed and fell towards the ground.

AT YET ANOTHER PLACE…

"Aw, where the fuck did Zetsu go? I already fucking told him he could go back and eat that stupid fangirl later", said an annoyed Hidan.

_Come to think of it… Since Zetsu's probably not gonna be back for a while… _Hidan set off to search for some heathens in Konoha for his rituals. _I could fit in at least 7 in this hour!, _he thought gleefully.

At the same time, Zetsu was already in the city, eating whatever crossed his path, which includes 2 chunnins, 3 citizens, and an attempted meal of Asuma.

Shikamaru at this moment was feeling extremely lazy. And hungry. His mind was still in debate as to whether he should go look for food, or stay at his spot in the middle of the forest looking at the clouds between the patches of trees. At that moment, two figures jumped over him, one wielding a sword thing, the other about to jump on a flying animal bird ink thing. _Speaking of animals…_ A dead deer dropped down next to Shikamaru, who stared.

"I'm not particularly superstitious, but I wonder what I did that gave me such good karma…", mused Shikamaru, before settling down to make a fire to cook the deer on. _But then again… making a fire is too troublesome… but I'm hungry… _

Suddenly, a giant fireball fell on the deer, nicely roasting it.

'…'

_Well, itadakimasu, _thought Shikamaru dryly.

AT YET ANOTHER PLACE…

Lee and Tobi made their way back to the school after finally realizing that Naruto was not with them.

"Yosh! If we don't make it back to Naruto san in 1 minute, we will find twice as much food and carry it all with our feet!", cried an energetic Lee, Tobi fallowing along.

"Tobi agrees because Tobi is a good boy! But Tobi also has to find Deidara senpai because Deidara senpai is unconscious", stated Tobi slightly depressed.

"Then let us make haste, with the youthful fires guiding us!", yelled Lee, striking a ridiculous pose which involved a mix of a disco and good guy pose.

"Yay!" replied Tobi, sparkles flying around him.

All the while, Gaara and Neji were eating onigiri while Deidara was still unconscious, and Naruto and Sakura were still fighting.

**A/N: **

**arg sorry, just realized I've been spelling Gaara as Garra when it's supposed to be Gaara. Sorry about that *sheepish grin* yea, so hope u enjoyed the chapter!**


	6. Chapter 6: Lunch arc part 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto**

**ANNND BACK WITH ANOHER CHAPTER! Thanks YukiTenVianey Team for pointing out the mistakes I had. Also, thanks to all the people who reviewed so far: Suki77, xxblood-splatersxx, YukiTenVianey Team.**

* * *

"_blah" thinking_

"**blah black Zetsu"**

"B-but Sakura-chaaaan", wailed Naruto from the floor.

"I already said, THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS RAMEN LAND", raged Sakura, shaking her fists. How the argument went from holding Narutos arm to Naruto thinking there was ramen land (1), no one will know.

"YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUTH!", screamed lee, flying into the classroom through the window which was followed by a, "TOBI'S A GOOD BOY!"

"NARUTO-SAN, WE HAVE COME TO PICK YOU UP FOR OUR EXTREMLY WONDERFUL SCAVANGER HUNT! LET US GO NOW!"

"Ummm, Lee-san, I think you kinda, uh, knocked Naruto out", stated Sakura looking at Naruto who was on the floor with x's over his eyes and foam coming out of his mouth.

"NARUTO-SAN! I AM MOST TERRIBLY SORRY. ARE YOU OK? ARE YOU BREATHING? NOOOO NARUTO-SAN! I DID NOT MEAN TO KILL YOUUUU", wailed Lee as he went over to the blonde haired ninja and shook his shoulders.

"Oh! Oh! Tobi has an idea!", said Tobi happily. Lee looked over at him, his eyes brimming with tears.

"Tobi thinks you should do CPR to make him wake up!"

Lee looked at Tobi, then Naruto, then Tobi again, hen back to Naruto.

_Yosh. I can do this._

Taking a deep breath, Lee bent over Naruto and started punching his chest. Hard.

_If Naruto-san doesn't wake up after thirty punches and 2 mouth to mouths, I shall punch even harder!_

Sakura watched as Lee continued to punch Naruto. If she didn't know any better, she would've thought Lee was trying to kill Naruto. _Maybe I should point out that he's doing CPR wrong. …Naw._

Finally, Lee was done his 30 punches.

Naruto groggily opened his eyes slowly. His head and chest hurt. A lot. He felt like he was punched 30 times! As he slowly cleared his vision, he was aware of something getting closer and closer to his face. He squinted. As his vision started to focus, he screamed. Yes, Naruto did scream. Lee's mouth was incredibly close to Naruto's.

"OH MY GAWDKJSF! $%#%& LEE WHAT THE HELL?", yelled Naruto.

"Oh! Sakura-san, he's awake! Tobi-san, CPR really does work!", said Lee getting up, beaming.

"See! Tobi said it would! Tobi helped!"

Sakura meanwhile, was having a lot of trouble holding in laughter.

* * *

**ELSEWHERE…**

Shikamaru was looking at the clouds. After eating, he felt extremely relaxed. _Oh great. It's already 1:00pm. Now I have to get up and back to the academy room. Mendokusei. _

Sighing, he slowly got up, put his hands in his pockets, and trudged back to the school.

Gai walked towards the classroom feeling extremely happy. He had just beat Kakashi in yet another challenge! Now he was winning, 112:111! As he neared the classroom, he heard voices; one of them was Lee's. _Just what I'd expect! Lee's already done and back! _Smiling broadly, he barged into the classroom.

"DYNAMIC ENTRANCE!", he hollered, landing in a nice guy pose.

Lee froze.

"OH NO, WE DIDN'T FIND ANY FOOD! FORGIVE ME GAI SENSEI!", wailed Lee, anime style tears running down his face.

"LEE I AM DISSAPOINTED IN YOU"

"I'M SORRY GAI SENSEI"

"I FORGIVE YOU. BUT IN EXCHANGE YOU MUST DO 1000 KICKS WITH EACH LEG AND THEN DO 2000 PUSHUPS!", exclaimed guy, running towards Lee with his arms open.

"THANK YOU GAI SENSEI!", yelled Lee, running to meet his sensei's hug.

"LEE!"

"G-"

"Sorry to break up your reunion", said Shikamaru, "But where's everyone else?"

Gai thought for a moment. Then looked around. Sakura, Naruto, Tobi, Lee, and Shikamaru looked back.

"UUUUOOOOOOO SHIKAMARU WHAT WONDERFUL OBSERVATION SKILLS YOU HAVE!"

"I think he just doesn't have any observational skills", muttered Naruto to Sakura, who nodded her head.

"Umm, Gai-sensei, should I go and look for them?", questioned Sakura.

"AHHH YOUTH! VOLUNTEERING TO HELP OTHERS, THIS IS TRULY THE SPIRIT OF YOUTH!"

Sakura, taking it as a 'yes', leapt out the window and started her search for the others. Suddenly seeing lightning in the middle of the forest, she quickly ran over there. She stopped once she saw Sai and Sasuke attempting to kill each other.

_Well, more of Sai prodding Sasuke-kun to kill him_

"SAI! SASUKE-KUN! COME BACK TO THE CLASSROOM NOW!", called out Sakura.

The two shinobi paid no attention and continued to fight. She tried to tell them to come to the classroom again, but to no avail. Soon enough, she started to get annoyed.

"SAI. SASUKE-KUN. GET YOUR FREAKING GOD DAMN ASSES DOWN HERE AND BACK TO THE ACADEMY OR YOU'LL SEE HELL WHEN I DRAG YOU BACK. ", threatened Sakura loudly. Of course, no one listened.

Well, you all know what happened next.

Five minutes later, Sakura dumped the two twitching bodies onto the floor inside the academy. By then, Choji, Kakuzu, and Karin were back in the classroom, along with Neji, Gaara, and an unconscious Deidara. No one talked for fear of pissing off the pink haired kunoichi and meeting the same fate as the two bodies. A few moments later, Zetsu appeared and spat out Hidan who was cursing flying colors since Zetsu had interrupted his 6th sacrifice.

Soon afterwards, Sai and Sasuke came to their senses.

"Sai, Sasuke-teme, what happened?", asked Naruto.

"Ink… the ink… splattered…pain… oww…", muttered Sai.

"I saw stars… And I flew… with black and white birds that exploded and looked like Itachi…", stated Sasuke dreamily.

"Umm.. Sakura, what exactly did you do?", Naruto asked Sakura.

"Oh you'll find out", she threatened, cracking her knuckles while Naruto scuttled away.

"Someone's PMSing", muttered Kakuzu.

"YOU WANNA GO STICH FREAK?"

Before Sakura could mess up, er, punch anyone else, Gai cleared his throat and told them to go back to their seats, which they all complied to. Mostly because Gai was doing a nice guy pose again and his teeth threatened to blind everyone.

"Anyways… now that you've all had lunch…"

A few moans and grumbles were heard.

"ON WITH THE PAPERS!"

More groans.

* * *

**A/N: yea, I think the humor isn't that good in this chapter cuz I just finished something else that doesn't involve humor as the main genre, so yea. And this chapter concludes the lunch arc, so it'll be back to the paper arc next chapter! And yea, this chapter took a while to finish cuz I was busy. And lazy. Yea. Anywayssssss thanks for reading this chapter. Oh, and there'll be a change in teachers. As a really obvious hint, Gai was Anko's temporary teacher and Anko was someone else temporary teacher cuz that someone else is late. Hint: late. **


	7. Chapter 7: Exercises with Kakashi

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto**

_**slight**_** character bashing. And Hidan swears a bit more. **

"_Blah" thinking_

"**Blah" black Zetsu**

* * *

Just before they started to read the papers again The door opened and a gray haired man with a mask holding a book stepped in.

"Yo. Ok Gai, I'm here now, you can go." Still reading the book, he turned to the class. "I'm your teacher, Gai was just here because Ibiki-san didn't want the students to be here with no teacher on the first day. He said I would be late."

The class stared. A few moments later, Naruto and Sakura yelled, "YOU'RE LATE!" Hidan replied with a with a, "no shit Sherlock."

Meanwhile, Gai and Lee started to cry. After a while, of awkward staring at the pair, Gai finally stopped crying and left, but not before saying,

"You may have won this time, my eternal rival, but that only makes it a tie!"

Kakashi looked up from his book. "Hmm… You say something?"

"ARG JUST WHAT I'D EXPECT FROM MY RIVAL, YOUR RESPONSE WAS SO COOL AND HIP", yelled a frustrated Gai while running out of the classroom on his hands.

Once Gai was gone and Lee's bawling started to die down, Kakshi went over to the chair at the front, plopped down, and gestured at Karin to read. Said girl straightened her glasses then picked up her paper and began to read.

Name: Zetsu

Organization/Village: You don't need to know

Why were you sent here: We have our reasons

What did you do: Eat too much

Do you know why you were sent here: Sasori said his spies were disappearing

Do you think you will enjoy yourself here: Everyone looks rather s-succulent so yes

Karin stuttered as she read the last sentence. Succulent? _Succulent? _Well of course she took it as a compliment but she was NOT food. Looking up, she saw Zetsu staring at Naruto with drool coming out of his white side while his right side kept mumbling 'fishcake'. Naruto and Karin shivered.

"Okay class, so you've all already heard 5 introductions, yes?", asked Kakashi. He was answered by some agreements.

"Good, we'll do 5 more tomorrow. For now, we're going to head outside and go into the basics of discipline", said Kakashi, never looking up from his book.

"Umm, Kakashi-sensei? What are we doing?", asked Sakura curiously. Nobody else appeared to pay attention, but deep inside they wanted to know too.

"I told you; we're going to go into the basics of discipline. But before that, I'm going to split you into groups based on your, ah, problems", replied Kakashi. He hoped he worded that right.

Well since fate is cruel, Kakashi turned out to have worded it wrong. Hidan stood up as well as Naruto , Sakura, and Karin. The three loudmouths started yelling (or swearing in Hidan's case).

"WHADDYA MEAN I'VE GOT PROBLEMS 'TEBAYO?"

"LIKE YOU DON'T HAVE ANY? YOUR ALWAYS LATE! I SHOULD SERIOUSLY BEAT SOME SENSE INTO YOU ONE OF THESE DAYS"

"PROBLEMS? I HAVE NONE! IN MY OPINION, YOU JUST JUDGE TERRIBLY! Right, Sasuke-kun?"

Sasuke hn'd.

"YOU ASSHOLE. IF I'VE GOT SOME DAMN PROBLEMS SPIT THEM OUT CUZ THE ONLY FUCKIN PROBLEM I SEE IS YOUR STUPID FACE AND THE FACT THAT MY JASHIN DAMN RITUAL WAS INTERRUPTED BY ALL YOU FUCKTARDS WHO AREN'T EVEN GOOD ENOUGH TO BE SACRIFICES TO LORD JASHIN-SAMA"

Kakashi snapped close his book and sighed.

_And this is why they were sent here._

* * *

After Kakashi eventually got the class to calm down **, he led them outside (and dragged Deidara out who was starting to wake up from his quick Tsukiyomi induced coma) and started to split them into groups. Pulling out a piece of paper from his jounin vest pocket, he looked over it then put it back into his pocket.

"Okay class, listen carefully because I'm not going to repeat myself. The groups will be as following: Gaara, Sasuke, Neji, and Sai because they all have slightly messed up ideas. Sakura, Lee, Naruto, Deidara, Hidan, Karin and Tobi are group 2 because they are loud and annoying. Third and final group is Shikamaru, Choji, Kakuzu, and Zetsu because they're too occupied with things that are hardly related to being a ninja. Now don't complain to me, Ibiki-san decided these groups. And remember, it was your village slash organization that sent you here because _you _weren't behaving less normal."

_So don't kill me, _Kakashi silently added. After a lot of grumbling from the students, they split into three groups. Kakashi made three clones. Kakashi already knew what type 'discipline' each of his clones were going to do. His eye crinkled up in a smile that had everyone else dreading the exercises.

Kakashi duplicate 1 motioned for group one to follow while clone two did the same action but with group two. Soon, only 4 bored looking students of the original 15 were left with the original Kakashi.

Shikamaru spoke first.

"Hey, what are we supposed to do?", drawled Shikamaru lazily.

"Well, I thought of doing the bell test, but then I thought that none of you would probably even bother to try, so instead, you will all be fighting in a battle royal where you are not allowed to sleep, eat which includes cannibalism, or touch anything that is not used to harm people. And the only paper allowed is paper tags. If you do any of the above, you will be living with me for the next week and expect there to be none of the stuff that you like."

"How long is this stupid activity going to last?", grumbled Kakuzu.

"Until the end of school. Which ends at 6:00pm here, so 5 and a half more hours. I might extend it though because until you go back, you'll be staying here and it'll be like a boarding school. And you have to try and fight. Use whatever way you like to get everyone unconscious. The three who lose get the same punishment as breaking the rules I said earlier, got it?", asked Kakashi.

Everyone grudgingly nodded knowing there was no way out of it. Kakuzu grumbled and thought about how much Pein was going to owe him for sending him here. Zetsu was just glad he had eaten earlier and Choji took out all the chip bags he had and vacuumed it all up.

"Yamato-san", called out Kakashi.

"Sorry I'm late Kakashi-senpai, I'll go make the boundaries now", said Yamato, sheepishly.

Forming the needed seals, wood started to spring up around them. They couldn't see the wood, but judging from the sound, it was a tall and thick wall to prevent escape.

"Well, have fun!", said Kakashi and Yamato before disappearing quickly.

The four looked around at each other then jumped away when Kakuzu decided to make the first move. Choji was about to reach for a bag of chips to help him get more chakra to attack when he realized he ate all his bags earlier. Moaning, he decided to just make a run for it instead.

Zetsu tried to escape by going through the walls, but apparently there were explosive tags all over the wood, and since he didn't feel like burning up, he decided to just watch the other three. Shikamaru jumped away from the clearing and into the forest that was their battle space. Looking up at the sky, he realized he really wanted a nap. Then he shook his head and continued into the forest focusing on his destination; the wall. There were probably traps that were set up there by the two Sensei that he could probably use later on.

* * *

**A/N: Yea, I know this isn't the best way to end a chapter, and the ending was even less funny then the previous chapter, but they **_**are**_** supposed to be splitting up and it's just the beginning of this and yeaaaaaaa. Okay thx for reading and bye! **

**And for those who wanted all the papers to be read, sorry, but I thought it would be better to space out the papers between the days so it's wouldn't be too boring. And besides, They were sent here because they needed to become better ninja, not introduce themselves. Yea. So sorry if you wanted to read the papers.**

**And I just realized my author notes and chapters are getting longer. If you want them to be shorter, just ask.**


	8. Chapter 8: Exercises with clone 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto**

"_blah" thinking_

"**blah" black Zetsu**

* * *

"You know…"

"Whaddaya want you ass."

"Never mind."

"You know, Naruto, if you don't have anything good to say, please don't say anything."

"Yeah, but Sakura-chan, you know…"

"Know WHAT?"

"Never mind."

"NARUTO"

Kakashi (clone 1) watched as Naruto lay on the ground, sprouting a gigantic bruise on the side of his head. Sighing, he continued to lead the rest of the group to their designated training spot. Stopping, he turned around and faced the group, not noticing Deidara sneak away towards a random vending machine that appeared.

"Ok everyone, your training here is to help in stealth missions, also known as missions that require you to be quiet and calm", started Kakashi.

"We already know how to be calm and quiet. Are you saying we don't fucking know how to be like that?", yelled Hidan indignantly.

"I'm not saying that, I'm just stating that you all have some trouble on that part. You're yelling out right after I said that is a really good example of being calm and quiet though, right?"

"Damn straight", huffed Hidan.

"White haired dude, are you an idiot? He was using _sarcasm_", stressed Karin exasperatedly.

"I knew that! I was just using some jashin damn sarcasm too. Stupid heathen", responded Hidan, muttering the last part.

"Uh, students?", Kakashi meekly said.

"Of _course _you were using sarcasm", responded Karin, facing Hidan.

"I detect sarcasm!", shouted out Naruto excitedly.

"_No really",_ responded Sakura, sarcasm dripping from her words as well.

"Tobi hears sarcasm too!", exclaimed Tobi, proud of his discovery.

Kakashi face palmed inwardly and sighed. This group is bound to give him trouble. Probably more trouble than the other two groups. Man, why was he stuck with the annoying and troublesome group?

_I don't mean to jinx it, but at least Lee's quiet. _Sadly though, since all jinxes work, Lee, started to babble.

"Everyone! I believe Kakashi-sensei has asked for our attention! Could everyone please be quiet for a moment and listen to his enlightening and youthful speech?", asked Lee, looking around at everyone.

"You and everyone else can go suck a dick", yelled Hidan over the noise everyone else was making.

"Preferably Karin's", called out Sakura. She was still pissed off on the fact that Karin had been hugging Sasuke's arm.

"YOU WANNA GO, PINKIE?", threatened Karin.

"I'LL KICK YOUR ASS TO PLUTO AND BACK", responded Sakura, cracking her knuckles.

"PLEASE CALM DOWN EVERYONE! IT IS NOT YOUTHFUL TO-"

Lee was interrupted mid sentence by two fists hitting both sides of his face and a synchronized, "SHUT UP". Meanwhile, Naruto started arguing with Hidan about ramen being better then jashin. Tobi was chasing after a butterfly.

"I tell ya, ramen is way better then you jashin. Ramen gives you nutrients and actually keeps you _alive_", reasoned Naruto.

"But if you are incredibly devoted to jashin, you become fucking immortal, which is a million times better than your stupid ramen", retorted Hidan.

"Ramen isn't stupid, dattebayo! Jashin's stupid! I mean, he doesn't even _exist_!", responded Naruto heatedly.

"Are you a retard? Jashin does exist; and he's the best jashin damn thing in this world! Non believers wouldn't understand", sneered Hidan.

"Karin, I am way better then you in looks, AND strength", said Sakura coolly.

"Yeah yeah, says the one who got rejected by Sasuke-kun", responded Karin triumphantly, flipping her hair back.

"I love you!"

All conversation stopped and turned towards the voice. Everyone visibly sweat dropped, anime style. There, sitting in a patch of green grass, was Tobi, holding a flower with a blue butterfly perched on top. Turning to face the spectators, he repeated what he said earlier, with visible happiness in his voice.

"I love you! Tobi heard the butterfly say I love you! Tobi loves you too!", stated Tobi joyfully, directing the last part at the butterfly.

"Tobi, three words. What. The. Fuck. Hmm.", deadpanned Deidara who suddenly showed up with a half empty sprite can in his hand.

_Where'd he come from? Oh right._

_**-Flashback-**_

* * *

_Kakashi (clone__1) watched as Naruto lay on the ground, sprouting a gigantic bruise on the side of his head. Sighing, he continued to lead the rest of the group to their designated training spot. Stopping, he turned around and faced the group, not noticing Deidara sneak away towards a random vending machine that appeared._

* * *

_**-Flashback end-**_

_Oh right. That's why I thought someone was missing._

"Oh great. Oh just _fucking _great. Now we have a _second_ Zetsu, except this one talks to bugs", groaned Hidan.

"Hey, fuzzy eyebrows, Sakura-chan, do you think he's, I dunno, related to Shino in anyway?", asked Naruto.

Kakashi, not wanting to waste his chance of finally having everyone quiet, or at least quieter, cleared his throat. This brought everyone (excluding Tobi who was still conversing with the butterfly) to turn towards Kakashi. He crinkled his visible eye up.

"Finally going to pay attention I see! Now, as I was saying, this exercise will help in stealth missions." He paused and looked around, daring them to interrupt. Lee was about to open his mouth when Naruto put a hand over his mouth and whispered to Lee.

"So your exercise is to stay in the position I assign you and stay still without the help of chakra. Also, I want each of you to tell me what weapon or weapons you usually use in combat. Starting from the swirly masked man ch-, I mean, man", said Kakashi, slightly irked that he almost called the swirly masked guy a 'man child'.

Sakura nudged Tobi none to gently on the shoulder, getting his attention.

"Hai! Tobi uses bombs!"

"I don't use weapons", stated Karin.

"My awesome as hell scythe", boasted Hidan, taking out his scythe.

"Explosive art, mmm."

"The ever so awesome kunai!", exclaimed Naruto.

"TRAINING WEIGHTS FROM GAI-SENSEI!", hollered Lee proudly, showing his weights on his legs to prove his point.

"My fists, SHANNARO!", yelled Sakura, punching the ground hard.

Poor ground.

Right after Sakura punched the hole in the ground, someone appeared next to Kakashi. Her braided brown hair fluttered in the air, glasses shining, and in her hand was a broomstick. All in all, with the random added lights shining behind her, she looked quite epic. Until the light disappeared and silence settled over the students and teacher.

"Uh… who are you?", asked Naruto, pointing at the girl who just appeared.

"Oh, uh, I'm Vianey. I'm the janitor. Sorry about the lights and all, Just wanted to see if they worked and stuff… Ok… I'm just checking up… heard some noise…", said Vianey trailing off to a mumble near the end of the sentence while moving closer and closer into the shadow of nearby trees.

"Noise… Noise… Wait. I am so sorry Vianey-san, I didn't mean to damage the ground! It's just I was demonstrating, and stuff", explained Sakura, bowing her head repeatedly.

"Oh, it's alright. Just thought something happened so I came over here", replied Vianey.

"Nice going Sakura-_kun_", sneered Karin.

"Thank you, Karin-_tan_", responded Sakura, smirking.

"Girls", said Kakashi calmly, but there was a hint of a threat underneath the calm words.

Both girls 'hmphed' and turned away.

"Vianey, since you're here, would you mind helping me with something? Vianey?"

Vianey, who had been staring at some of the guys in the group and was mumbling something, looked up quickly.

"Ye-yes?"

Kakashi looked at her oddly.

"Were you just staring at some of my students?"

"No!", she replied quickly, waving her hands in a 'no' motion. "Anyways, weren't you going to ask for my help?"

"Oh, you're right, I was. I was going to ask if you would mind watching over my students while they do their exercise. It's quite hard for a single person to watch seven students you know."

"LIAR! YOU JUST WANT TO GO READ YOUR PERVERTED BOOK!", exclaimed Naruto and Sakura. The other 5 exchanged glances at the mention of 'perverted books', all of them wondering how exactly this person was allowed to be an instructor.

"Maah, who says I'm going to do that? Now, I see all of you have your weapons with you. Hold your weapon like how you would if you were fighting", instructed Kakashi.

After everyone did as instructed, with or without weapons, Kakashi moved towards Tobi. He adjusted him so that he looked like a figure skater with one foot up who was about to throw a Frisbee. After making sure he wasn't using any chakra to stay in the position, he moved onto Karin and made her stand on two hands with her feet straight up in the air.

Sakura was in a position where she was balancing on one foot with one arm folded like a chicken wing and the other arm poised to punch the ground. Hidan was standing on his scythe with his chest puffed out , leaning dangerously backwards.

Deidara and Naruto were propped up against each other, set so that if one were to fall, the other would too. Naruto's kunai was raised in the air held in between two fingers while Deidara's explosive clay was balancing gingerly on the back of his hands. Lee was doing a bridge with his hands almost touching the ground, but not. His weights were transferred to his hands.

"Hey, asshole, why did I get the stupid looking stance? I look like a retarded action figure!", exclaimed Hidan angrily before getting doused in a bucket of freezing water. Sputtering, Hidan got back on his feet and swore loudly at Kakashi who was thanking Vianey for the bucket of cold water.

"WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR?", raged Hidan.

"Oh, I might have forgotten to mention this, but you all will be staying in those positions for the next, I don't know, four, five hours? If you talk or fall from your position, you'll be met with a bucket of cold water followed by a breeze of cold air. Don't worry, you'll survive", added Kakashi, his eye once again crinkling up in a smile.

"Also, Hidan, if you don't hurry back up to your position, you will be receiving another bucket", informed Kakashi. When he didn't move from his spot, Kakashi looked at Vianey.

"If you could do the honor, Vianey-san", said Kakashi a little to cheerily.

"Sure", replied Vianey, lifting up another bucket of cold water threateningly.

That got Hidan back to his ridiculous pose.

"Thanks, for the help, Vianey-san! As for the rest of you, remember the rules. This for your information started the moment you were put in those positions. Well, have fun, and just think of this as training!", said the clone cheerfully again before disappearing into a tree while Vianey seated herself underneath in the tree's shade.

_I take back what I said about being stuck with this group. This is actually going to be quite fun._

* * *

**A/N: I had fun writing this chapter :D yes, that is**** the first thing I write in my authors notes. Also, Vianey is not an OC (well I guess technically she is in a way), she's a guest. So hopefully you liked your character so far, Vianey!**

**Also, she's going to be the only guest appearance, so sorry to everyone else. Thanks for reading this chapter!**

**Also, there's a poll on my profile for the other story I wrote, so GO VOTE! Yea. Ok, until next time! And tell me if you liked the chapters better when they were longer like this chapter, or shorter like the first few chapters.**


	9. Chapter 9: Exercises with clone 2 kinda

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto**

"_blah" Thinking_

"**blah" black Zetsu**

_I'm starting to think that the training for this group isn't going to work, _thought Kakashi, looking over his book at the group.

Nobody was looking at each other, nor was anyone talking. Although some of them emitted a fierce killing intent into the air. Kakashi shuddered. Gaara was glowering at every moving thing that blocked his view of the tree, the source of the killer intent problem coming mostly from him. Sai wasn't even trying to hide his boredom. Neji was sitting down and meditating, all the while looking more and more ticked off about something. Sasuke was sitting on a log, hands clasped together in front of his face, no doubt brooding. He must have started getting bored though, as he was also starting to leak some killing intent.

_I should probably start now. Wait, actually, I shouldn't. Something bad is going to come out of this exercise, I can feel it. _

He inwardly sighed. A job was a job though. Maybe he should've been nine hours late instead so he could have skipped the explaining exercise…

Clearing his throat once to get everyone attention (the looks on their faces quite honestly scared the lights out of him), he began to speak.

"So class, I would like to remind you that this training exercise for you was _not_ my idea, it was the principles' idea, so if you have any problems, please don't kill, bodily harm, or mush up my brain."

Gaara appeared to have frowned ever so slightly while Sasuke shut off his Sharingan that had been on moments ago, glowering at the ground.

"Sensei, what do you want us to do then", questioned Sai.

_Good, there's a non homicidal and perfectly normal person here. I think._

"Well, you will be doing an exercise that will help you become a better ninja", replied Kakashi.

Sai smiled. Or fake smiled.

_I suddenly have a feeling-_

"My apologies Sensei, but I think even an extremely stupid idiot could have answered that question better then you. You see, I was looking for the specific activity and not an obvious response. Though I thought a capable tokubetsu jounin would have already known that."

_-that I would get insulted. _

Kakashi tried to keep his visible eye from twitching.

"No, no, it was my fault for not explaining properly."

Twitch.

"What I _meant_ to say was that your exercise is to help you with information gathering skills. You see, you can't just waltz into a place and demand for info, you have to do so inconspicuously, and therefore you have to have good socialization and speaking skills", corrected Kakashi.

Sai opened his mouth.

"BEFORE you say anything, I'll explain what exactly we are doing. You four, will be socializing together. You can talk or whatever just makes sure no one is silent for more than 5 minutes. There's a goal to this though; you have to find out one secret about everyone in a NON VIOLENT way. I'll also be participating to keep this going longer", finished Kakashi.

The four shinobi looked at him with blank stares. Chuckling nervously, Kakashi said, "You can start."

Still nobody moved. Kakashi looked pointedly at each of them, silently asking why no one was talking.

"Kakashi-sensei, no one is talking because you yourself, who said would participate, are not talking either", pointed out Neji, eyes closed still.

"There is no point in following your instructions when nothing will happen either way", stated Gaara monotonously.

Kakashi breathed slowly. In. Out. In. Out. Okay. Choosing to ignore Gaara since he honestly had no good answer, he turned to his former student and began, "Sasuke, it's nice to see you back in Konoha. Why did you come here anyways?"

"Hn. Look at the papers."

"…right."

This was honestly getting them nowhere.

_Oh well. Could have been worse. At least if no one talks, no one can set anyone else off._

"Sasuke-san,"

Annoyed, Sasuke looked up towards the voice. Why was everyone asking _him _the questions?

"I read in a book that if you want to learn people's secrets, you should get closer to them and exchange personal information. Let me get straight to the point then; my secret is that I am in root and was ordered to attack you in the near future. What is your secret?", asked Sai tactlessly.

Before Sasuke could kill Sai for trying to kill him in the future (causing Kakashi to back away when Gaara looked ready to join), suddenly, the Yamanaka who was seen with Danzo (you know, the guy during the 5 kage summit arc. Sorry, forgot his name) appeared.

"YOU DIDN'T HEAR ANYTHING", then after meddling with everyone's memories quickly, he left, but not before shivering under a tree muttering something that sounded vaguely like, 'so cold…. Soooo, soooo, cooold…'. Nobody could blame him though; he had just entered minds that were filled with insanity, hatred, and insults. Oh, and 'icha icha paradise' book contents.

Now, Kakashi had no idea what just happened, so doing what any sensible teacher who just lost their memories from a few moments ago and found himself being stared at by a murder, missing nin, a smiling root member, and hyuga would do, took out a kunai and very promptly, slit his throat, thus disappearing in a cloud of smoke.

Kakashi looked up from his orange book and looked at Yamato. Yamato stared back, 'what?' clearly written all over his face.

"I don't want to know how you have been training Sai."

"What? Did Sai do something?", questioned Yamato.

"I don't think so, but one of my clones just suicided right after losing all its memories and seeing Sai smile at him", replied Kakashi nonchalantly. He left out the details of everyone else staring at him as well. And that he was hyperventilating inside. And that he wanted nothing more than to stay safe and away from possible horrific dangers.

'_Whyyyyy…. Whyyyyy is there so much Kakashi-clone-number-two bashing. Why couldn't my clone have gotten something more fun…'_

'_**soon enough… soon enough…'**_

'…_that had better been the author and not me developing split personalities.'_

"So… Kakashi, I just realized. If your clone dispelled itself, who's looking after group 3 right now?", asked Yamato.

"Don't worry, they'll be fine."

"You do realize that that group is comprised of some of the strongest ninjas which includes a homicidal jinchuuriki, a revenge bent avenger with the sharingan, a hyuga prodigy who claims to be the strongest due to 'fate', and a root member who is capable of insulting and ticking off them all, thus resulting in an all out war, right?"

"…They'll be fine."

'_Because chances are, they probably already started doing all that and I'm not taking any chances until I finish reading all of Jiraiya's books'_

**BOOM**

"Not. A. Word. It's not group 3. It is NOT group three. It's probably just Deidara accidentally dropping a giant bomb on his group. Nothing big." He chuckled happily at his judgment then went back to reading.

"I'm just going to nod my head and smile instead of questioning your sanity."

**A/N: I'd say I'm sorry for taking so long to update, except I'm not because I am having fun not updating BD **

**Jokes, jokes, I actually am sorry, but you can blame the computer. You see, the speakers died and had to be fixed, but once they were fixed, the internet wouldn't connect to the laptop cuz some wireless connection thingy broke. And I dunno how to use an ipod to upload stuff D: **

**This chapter is kind of short, so sorry for having a short chapter AND making you all wait so long.**

**I don't think I did this before, but if I did, I'll say it again:**

**Thank you to Suki77, xxblood-splattersxx, YukiTenVianey Team, Kashi-Got-Swag, Trolling-Fox, MahoShoujo, for reviewing, and thank you to everyone who read, followed, of favorite this story. :D**


	10. Chapter 10: Listen? I think not

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto**

* * *

"Kakashi-sempai, are you sure we shouldn't go look at group three? There's been a lot of loud noises for a while now, and seeing as your clone that's with Naruto's group hasn't exploded yet, I really do think we should check o group three", stated Yamato, a bit worried.

"Now, Yamato, I told you, nothing bad is happening. So do trust your sempai's words and ignore the noise", the copy nin replied, brushing him off. "Anyways, how's this group doing? Any rule breakers?"

"Uh, I thought you were making sure no one breaks the rules."

"…Yamato, I am ashamed to have you as my kohai. What type of person can spam shadow clones, excluding Naruto, throughout this entire place?"

"So…"

"Yea, what you're thinking is most probably right."

"…"

"…"

"…So now what, Kakashi-sempai."

"Eh, just let them do whatever they're doing", the silver haired jounin replied, going back to reading his book.

* * *

_**Meanwhile with Shikamaru…**_

Shikamaru stopped trying to run around after an hour or so into the 'training'. So far, he had run into zero clones, so deeming it safe that they weren't going to monitor them, Shikamaru dropped down where he was, discovering that the place he was now at was rather comfy, even though the clouds just barely peaked out over the tree tops.

'_Screw getting traps from the wall and surviving; it's too troublesome. I'd rather just take a nap.'_

As Shikamaru fell asleep, Zetsu arrived. He had been watching Shikamaru for the longest sincehe seemed the most dangerous. When he saw that the brat was doing exactly what he wasn't supposed to do, Zetsu decided to kill two birds with one stone.

Needless to say, Shikamaru was not happy when he woke up to find his head stuffed down someone's throat with his legs sticking out like flowers in a vase.

* * *

_**With Choji…**_

He knew he wasn't supposed to disobey his instructors, but he was just SO hungry.

'_I wish everyone would just fall down unconscious. Then we can finish this and I can get some food. I hope Asuma sensei's nearby… I want Barbeque….'_

As Choji began to drool a bit from the thoughts of barbeque, it hit him. Why didn't he just get all of them together and tell them to all pretend to be unconscious? That way, everyone wins.

With that, Choji set off to find the others.

* * *

_**With Kakuzu…**_

"Wonderful. I lost my chance." Kakuzu had watched as Zetsu disappeared, Choji run away, and hadn't really bothered with that guy with the long name. He had decided to chase the large kid, only to lose him after getting… distracted.

Still, that piece of tree bark he offered looked extremely realistic, and his drawing skills were quite good… Dammit who is he kidding, if Hidan was here, he'd never hear the end of it. Of course, he'd chop of his head first and throw it away the moment that jashin lover started talking anyways. Or maybe he'd just chop his head off anyways just for the fun of it. Come to think of it, could someone immortal die if they get incinerated? He should try that next time… But first he had to finish counting his bills.

Screw rules, if anyone tries to stop him, he'd personally sell their dead bodies off.

Sitting down under a relatively large tree, he took out his notebook and started counting his bills.

* * *

_**Back with Kakashi and Yamato…**_

Yamato was sleeping. Well, in all honesty, shinobi don't sleep while testing others, but since the actual tester of this class wasn't doing anything, what's to stop himself from sleeping? Suddenly, a loud 'boom' sounded across the school and testing areas, loud enough to get Kakashi to look up from his book and Yamato to wake with a start.

Looking over to his right, Yamato saw a mushroom cloud, puffing merrily in the now smoke filled air.

"Kakashi, if I told you that that explosion," he gestured to the mushroom cloud, "wasn't done by group three, would you get up and find out what happened?"

"Hmmmm…" the silver haired jounin replied, looking back down at his book, not caring the least bit about the explosion. Yamato on the other hand, was getting fed up.

"Kakashiiiiii…."

"Hmmm?" Kakashi looked up from his book at Yamato's drawling voice. Contemplating whether he should just go back to reading, or looking at Yamato, he decided to turn around.

Sure, Kakashi had heard of his students telling him how terrifying the wood user's stare could be at times, but he wasn't expecting it to be this…. Creepy. He shuddered slightly.

"Maah, please don't get so worked up", Kakashi eye smiled nervously. "I'll just…"

Kakashi groaned. Once again, his clone had gotten itself killed. His mind slowly filled with the memory of the clones' and he moaned. Why did he choose to accept this mission? Because the hokage had told him he would get paid equal to an unranked mission? Was it because he felt ashamed that all his students had ended up in this school? Whatever reason it was, it didn't matter. Kakashi just wished he didn't take up the teaching mission.

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**A/N: I. Am. Sorry. Soooo soooo sorry. This chapter came out soooo late. and it's not even that good. (sorry for having you read my self pitying) I'm just going to take away the posting schedule and post whenever I can. yeah. **

**Thank you to YukiTenVianey for reviewing!**


	11. Chapter 11: What happened earlier?

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.**

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_**A while ago with group two before the explosion…**_

Naruto wanted to move. The problem though, was that he wasn't allowed to move. Trying to look inconspicuous, he quickly looked around, to see how the others were doing. So far, no one had fallen yet, but Hidan had gotten 2 more buckets of cold water for trying to move, and then swearing once Vianey had poured water over him, earning him another pail.

It didn't quite help Naruto since said Janitor was currently staring at him from under the shady tree. Lucky. Naruto himself was sweating in the glaring sun. He had to try to keep himself from fidgeting, but anymore of heat, and he might just 'fall' and get a bucket of blissfully cold water. It wasn't like he could get sick from it anyways, thanks to good ol' fuzz ball inside him.

Said fuzz ball growled.

In fact, Naruto would have already tried to fall if it weren't for two reasons;

1- If he fell, the blonde guy who fainted earlier would fall too, thus also receiving a bucket of water. Judging by the way the clay artist was glaring at him, Naruto sure as hell didn't want to feel his wrath if Deidara got mad at him for indirectly soaking him.

2- Kakashi-sensei would probably see through the fall and end up making Naruto do something that he REALLY didn't like, like make him bathe in the extremely hot part of the hot springs, make him clean up the Inuzuka compound (they had done it before, and needless to say, Naruto never wanted to clean that place again), make him read his… book, if you could even call that filthy perverted _thing_ a book. There was even worse though; Naruto mentally shuddered at the thought.

Calling Itachi over to put him in a Tsukiyomi where he has to watch all his friends eat Ramen while he had to clean the Inuzuka's dog compound.

With that thought, Naruto decided that he wasn't going to end up falling today.

The problem is, he was having a very tough time not fidgeting or making a sound. You see, it's very hard to not move while being stared at, and since said action was being done to Naruto, he was now trying very hard not to cave into the pressure.

Should he move and risk the Ino-looking guy and Kakashi-sensei's wrath, or should he stay still and feel pressured from the staring of the janitor?

Naruto kept on mentally debating, until he was suddenly and unexpectedly interrupted. He toppled over, shocked and feeling very creeped out. Deidara on the other hand, was wildly flailing his arms, in an attempt to not fall and explode the bombs he was holding on himself.

'_Did… Did she just… _moan_ at me?'_

Then Naruto fainted.

"HOLY MOTHER OF SODA DRINKS HMMM!" yelled Deidara as he could no longer keep his balance, and fell, tossing the bombs into a tree, where they exploded.

Kakashi, seeing the two fall (and hearing the moan as well), quickly jumped away from the tree he was currently sitting in, narrowly avoiding the attack, but dropping his book into the blast by accident.

'_My precious icha icha books…', _Kakashi mentally sobbed. '_I'll avenge you, my sweet, don't worry.'_

"Deidara, Naruto. It seems you have both fallen", started Kakashi, calmly.

"Hey, it's his entire fault, un! Ask him hmmm! Well, he's out of it right now, I dunno why though yea…", yelled, Deidara, pointing at the unconscious Naruto on the ground.

"Well, you still moved in the end though, didn't you?" stated Kakashi nonchalantly.

"Yeah, because of the unconscious blonde idiot un! It's not my fault this is how you set us up to stand hmmm, and it's not my fault he fell, yea!" cried Deidara indignantly.

"But it still stands that you moved", said Kakashi menacingly. He would get his revenge on the clay bomber in the name of all icha icha books.

"So if you were told not to jump in the water, and someone pushes you in, does that mean it's the person who got pushed ins fault hmmm?" demanded Deidara angrily.

The copy nin clone cocked his head to the side and pretended to think about it.

"Yup", he agreed cheerfully.

"WHAT THE HELL KIND OF JOUNJIN ARE YOU, HMMM? EVEN LEADER-SAMA IS BETTER THAN YOU YEA. ARE YOU SERIOUSLY GOING TO DUNK ME INTO COLD AS HELL WATER ("That's an oxymoron." "I DON'T GIVE A FLYING PIECE OF SHIT HMMM") , THUS MESSING UP MY EYE SCOPE AND HAIR AND CLAY? YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK AOUT YOUR DUMB LOGIC HMM? THIS IS WHAT I THINK ABOUT IT YEA", yelled Deidara furiously, nearly screaming.

He reached into his pockets, and taking out a wad of clay, started chewing it with his hands, all the while grinning maniacally. At this point, Hidan, who knew how strong his bombs were, started to back away from Deidara with his scythe held in front. After everyone else began to realize what was about to happen, they followed closely in suit, Sakura dragging Naruto away as well.

Out of deidara's hand popped out a tear drop shaped bomb with a face and arms. He threw it in the air, and everyone watched as it grew bigger and bigger, their expressions slowly changing to fear once the bomb began to fall back down. Deidara grinned.

"HAVE A TASTE OF MY ART HMM! MY C3! AND I THINK ART… IS A BLAST HMM! KATSU!"

Everyone watched in horror, as the bomb exploded.

Right before the explosion touched the ground, Vianey said, "…I'm still getting paid, right?"

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**A/N: Ah. Well, I don't really like this chapter much. Credit to YukiTenVianey for giving me the staring at Naruto idea. Well, I might not update in a long time, so yeah.**


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